Trigio

07:26 pm: Busy but Boring Bunch of Bollocks

My fellow Trigmen,

Cue the sympathy - just home from work after clocking up a total of 20 hours work in the past two days - and this is meant to be the bloody weekend! Got an exam tomorrow for physics and having to study for that too - thus giving you some insight into the choice of Subject.

Got into bother in work yesterday. They were carrying out random security checks on the till staff. When I went on my till, I noticed there was a petrol voucher lying, and El - The Always Thinking - Trigio, decided to pick it up and give his old man a few pounds off his petrol. Just after I had picked it up, I was summoned. They searched me (not stripsearch thankfully, as Poofy Paul was in the same room) and foudn the voucher. This voucher entitles the person to get 3p off every litre of fuel. To fill a whole tank of petrol would have saved about 36p and it didnit even belong to anyone, so, understandably, they gave me a warning and put a record of this "theft" in my profile.

Work today was calm, apart from the fact that two people were fighting over the right to have a feel at my bum. The main contenders were Stephen and Louise. Louise is an all right bit of crumpet and she's training to be a supervisor so she's have a bit of hard cash. Stephen is a good laugh and he have a lot of innuendos but I don't think he's quite got the fact that I don't swing that way.

In the end Louise won, and she felt my bum for free which I must admit, was somewhat pleasurable.

Going to the bad place tomorrow for my exam so wish me luck!

SEX

El Trigio

04:45 pm: Pain of a thousand Toddy's
My fellow Trigmen,

Once again my apologies for not updating in a while. Suicide rates have doubled overnight as a consequence. Commisserations to the families and may their ditch be a merry one.

Alot been happening. Got a few offers from unis so feeling very wanted and loved. Andi came down at the weekend and basically slagged me rotten. I take my hat off to her - she was on top form. However claims that I was adopted due to the lack of photographs in albums, seemed more like a 'joke with a jab'.
Tom came down on Friday and Toddy likewise the following day. A troubled guinea pig if ever I saw one. He is appearing in Sheriff Court early doors on Monday, with offenses including indecent exposure, dodgy antics with young boys and attempting to drown salmon. All the best for him...

Yes - the photo albums were out which contained the legendary OG's rodent-come-moustache circa 1980. Among the finest were photos of me bathing. Very offensive remarks were made about the size of the... erm... ... ... well, you get the idea. Bearing in mind the total age of the people slagging me was pushing the century, I hit back saying 'Well, at least mine still works!"

Watched the football this weekend and we bet the sheep shearers as always. Need to head out - my apologies folks.
My apologies also for not updating and I assure you that an offense of this magnetude shall never occur again.
Back to the bad fire tomorrow.

10:54 pm: The Bad Place

My fellow trigmen,

My apologies to all you die-hard fans out there who were all desperate to hear of my latest chapter in the endless book of my life (I am trying to be poetic but it just isn't working for me).

What to tell... em... bum bum bum... oh ye - I got a new webcam yesterday! It's a nifty wee thing. It's lillac and pink - the kind of thing Becca would say 'Oh, thats so cute!' in that high pitched squeel that she does when she's excited that drives dogs to insanity. Took a wee while to set-up but got there in the end. So sorry if I offend you with my face like a melted wellie, but it won't last forever. Also got a new mic, so been having a lot of fun with that - it now means I can have visual and oral porn aswell (oral sex - can't beat it!)

The rest of this week has just been studying. Got two exams in the next two days while learning about the wonders of my physics project. Yeah right. Also got photos tomorrow so should be good (but costly :(    )

Before I go, just a wee word for Togneri, who was on top form today. (I know - sad writing about him on my live journal).

Have a good night all.

SEX

El Trigio

08:02 pm: I Need an Agony Aunt!

My fellow Trigmen,

Today was up left hilarious!

Day began in the middle of the night - 9.55am to be precise. Brother comes into my room, where I am told, I had the customary 'finger up the sphincter', mouth open and tongue lying out. "Trig get up! You start work in less than an hour!"

I am still on the young side, but to date, I have yet to see a sight more disturbing than Tom, in the skud apart from boxers covering prune, with hair a big gel-rumped frizz screaming "Get up! Get up!" Disturbing as it was, it did wake me up.

Work wasn't much better. Boring, quiet and painfully sore until about midday. Stephen (gay guy who is such a laugh (nothing more! Calm down ladies - I am still single)) came in and had a good laugh with him. Didn't make that much of a difference and with Mitto being the superviser (Mitto is arguably the most boring guy on this planet! He's a guy who is clearly thinking that with himself nearing the 40 year age mark and having nothing more than a dull supervisor job at the local supermarket, he has absoloutely no chance of impressing Carol enough to put put him as the Store Manager. A man who has never had a degree of success in life). Poor Mitto - our comisserations.

Came home to be greeted my Tom (dressed, thankfully) and The Reverent Toddski. I spent most of the time humping his leg, to show my eternal gratitude for verifying that I do in fact have a nicer, rounder ass than Tom. Thankyou Toddy!

Going to get an early kip tonight to compensate for the 3 hours sleep I got last night. Enjoy yourselves and remember:-

SEX

El Trigio.

PS. Ms Porteous - you replied to my Journal by offensively claiming that my spelling was appalling. In that very reply, you typed 'definate' (think about it, folks)

12:33 am: A Phonecall From The Ex

My fellow Trigmen,

Just recently discovered the invaluable 'rich text', hence why I am typing in this hideous and very homosexual baby blue. But lets not bog down on the text colour, and focus on the night.

Had a good one! Tom and I origionally were going to watch Eternal Sunshine - some film with Jim Carrey (ultimate comic genius!), however, after weighing up pros and cons of watching said film, we decided against it. Afterall, why spend money watching a film when you have the one and only Champ in the next room?

Trigio - cut the crap and get down to brass tax here...

Got a phonecall from Lyndsey. Hadn't spoken to her since we split - over a month ago, so it was good to hear from her again (I think?) She was actaully quite nice - singing my praises about how nice I was while we went out - I was kind, understanding and helpful... SO WHY DID SHE DUMP ME? Women - who would have them? I have decided that when I die and go up to the gates of Heaven and God tells me all the secrets of the world etc, I would ask questions that have puzzled me throughout my lifetime - How was Stonehendge built? How was the world formed? Is it true you can't lick your elbow?... and finally I would ask "God, women? What the hell was that about?" Apart from certain parts of their anatomy - they serve no purpose in this world whatsoever!

Had a good night though. Working tomorrow until 4.30, so shit on me. Hope you all have a wonderful night and when you are all out partying tomorrow - think of me doing Dale Winton behind the checkouts (Supermarket Sweep rocked!)

SEX

El Trigio

Btw. If you were offended about all or any part of this up-date... Get a sex change!

05:17 pm: A cosy night in with Tom - Jealous?
My fellow Trigmen,

While the world is still recovering from the formidable revolution that is El Trigio's LIVE JOURNAL, the man himself has decided to update his jounral with today's movements.

The shock of having my Christmas holidays cut short is still very much with me, as I try to fit in four days of studying into a few hours (so what else is new?). I wasn't in school today until 10am, so I thought I would wake up at 7, get ready promptly and be ready to begin my studying by 7.45am. Good plan?

F**k that! I kipped until after 9, had breakfast in bed thanks to father, and scratched my arse frequently until I realised that it was 9.45am. Thought of washing right hand after the afore mentioned scratching actions, but decided against it and prioritised, and thus made it into school with time to spare. (My apologies to those whose hands I shook today).

I won't even talk about the bad fire just to symbolise to you all just how bum-numbing the damn place is!

I came home, via Jafar's to buy myself my nearest and dearest friend - The Daily Star. Problem page is always fascinating, and today was no exception - 'Petrol Revs Me Up' and 'My Foursome Lesbian Fantasies' were among the highlights.

Sent away my application for our pet-to-be greyhound. It's an odd choice, but frankly, with all the dogs living in Aurs Glen (no. 27), he/she should fit in well. Keep you posted on that.

Father is heading out tonight and brother and I will be having a cosy night in playing Champ. Should be fun, as long as we avoid the presence of a Ms Porteous - who is frequently inviting herself round and giving us various pleasures and massages. She's a bit hyper - but we love her!

Hope you all have a drink-filled night and you enjoy yourself.

SEX

El Trigio

08:00 pm: The Birth!
My fellow Trigmen,

I am writing to announce the birth of El Trigio's LIVE JOURNAL. It's what everyone has been waiting for!
I have taken ideas from all my friend's shitty LIVE JOURNALS, combined them all and formed one massive seweage system! Yes, this one has the lot - dark secrets, human excrement and shoutouts for the various rats in my life - you know who you all are!

There is one thing I would like to announce... I am El Trigio. That's it. I have no other sinister personality. I am not skytzophrenic! It is very unattractive to the opposite sex - take these ones for example:

Toddy has 'Evil Dave' -
A rather mysterious presence. The man is not often spoke of for reasons unknown to myself, and frankly have no care to find out. Dave is a nice guy - wierd, terrible jokes and quite an expert on womanising - That is my kind of guy!
Evil Dave is another story, however, but as we do not speak of him, I suppose I better move on.
Lauren has 'She' -
Lauren's split personality was only recently diagnosed and so, again, very little is known of this Torturing Queen. She is in many ways anonymous - and frankly, this planet would like to keep it that way.

References may be made about this Deranged Duo, however, just because El Trigio finds it kinky hanging around sexy people with 'darker sides', this does not make him skytzo himself - El Trigio is much cleverer as he knows it will only result in him attending a padded cell in The Funny Farm, having men in white coats taking care of him, and doing various bodily functions in paper bags and bottles.

However, like I said, a special mention to all of my friends - you know who you all are - much respect to you all!

Anyway, enough about them - more about me! Today was ghastly. I found out last night from Mr Barron on MSN that we were back at school today. Any normal person would assume that a school re-opens at the beginning of a week (ie. Monday), but then, I forgot we were dealing with East Renfrewshire Council. To overcome the shock of it all, I stayed off school the morning but attended in the afternoon. It was awful - considering one would have loved much more sitting on one's fat arse playing Champ.

Had a quiet night, however, in approx 90 mins time, I will be collecting the one and only (there is a God!) Tom 'Get It Up You' Wilson, who I may add was working tonight, when some of us were off.

Should be back for 11, make a couple of calls to people far more important than yourselves, and then head off. Thankyou for listening to my in-end drivel and please check back soon.

SEX

El Trigio.